Take Me or Leave Me

I am who I am! Take me or leave me, but don't expect me to change! 

I am a soon to be 29 year old, female that has spent my entire life in the city. I was raised in Columbus, Ohio ran away to California at 18 and lived in a small rural town, but it was still a city. Less than a year later I moved back home, and had no ambition in life. In late 2008 I ran away from a messy relationship with a "country" boy that had me looking to better my future, but at a loss for what that really meant. I stayed in Tucson until May 2011, when my life changed forever in one of the most tragic ways possible - my mother died, suddenly. 

My Ma was one of the most caring, giving, compassionate, understanding, intelligent, intrigued, and professional women I had ever known - don't get me wrong she was human, she had her failures and short comings just like the rest of us, but she was MY mom and she always believed in me. So for the last two years my Dad, brother and I have been struggling to find our way. My Dad's remedy was to retire, not get the memo that meant retire and instead bought a business he has thrown himself into and has done amazing at! My brother was immediately surrounded by love and care from a childhood friend of ours and an amazing man that has been his provider for over more than a decade. I made a gut reaction decision and moved to Michigan... Not my brightest move, but it was closer to them, it allowed me to not have to live in Ohio again and it gave me a chance at a fresh start - in a dying state. 

Now though, two years plus after, I am back in Tucson and am back on track with focusing on my future, my health, and my beautiful "kid," Lela, the Pit Bull! I have also found a renewed interest in a lot of the things I was interested in as a child. Things that were likely brushed aside because of my family's needs, my school and/or sport obligations, or because I was just one of those kids that had a new interest every week and it was unreasonable to go from tap dancing to falconry one week, to the next - who knows, really! 

The long and short of it I am crossing things off my childhood Bucket List and the first thing I crossed off were dreadlocks, but that was one of those things on the list we will sweep under the rug and consider a very... shall we say, awkward phase! Next on my list, though, are an interesting mix ranging from learning how to cook more than the Italian meals my mother taught me, to archery and shooting, to how to make my own toothpaste, canning, gardening and more - which let me tell you has some of those around me concerned for my sanity, but really we only live once and why not try new things? 

I want to be able to provide for myself, to grow and hunt my own food, to be able to know how to survive if weather, inflation, famine or worse make going to the grocery store impossible. I want to roll around in the mud with my dog and have fun, while I still can!